Is Your Story Getting In The Way Of Designing Your Best Last Big Gig?

In addition to fifteen minutes of fame, each of us has a story; a well-crafted, carefully edited story that shapes how we see the world and the opportunities that we can see and believe in.  And this story is something that we begin writing and drafting as a small child, carefully integrating our interpretation of what the world around us is telling us about ourselves.  The challenge is that so much of our story is crafted through our childhood eyes, when our perspective is limited and defined by the people and situation with whom and in which we find ourselves.  Is it possible, that your story is getting in your way of designing an amazing last big gig?  All that I know, is that this has been true for me.

For years, my story stood me in reasonably good stead.  It helped me attain many of the things that we often define as success – good jobs, enough money to live well without significant debt or anxiety, a long-term marriage, amazing children, great friends and a wonderful home filled with traditions and heartfelt experiences.  So what is the problem?  Why am I questioning my story now?  In truth, I began to notice over the past few years that some of these accomplishments are no longer providing the same sense of satisfaction and happiness.   I am feeling as if I need to be doing something different – but am completely clueless as to what I need to change.

Then, I began to notice the people around me and how their stories are shaping their lives and their choices – stories that they have created and which define who they are and what they do.  Some of the stories are very empowering and some aren’t.   But, I began to wonder two things: 1) how is my story blinding me to new possibilities and 2) do I need a story at all – is it possible to let go and just be who I am, naturally and authentically?

My first challenge: how do I step out and look at my story without judgment and with love and compassion for myself?  Frankly, it has taken several attempts, some really good help from others and a couple of new tools to begin to really see the story that I have built over my lifetime.  A story that often is based on what is important to others and the direction and advice of those I respected and loved, including my parents.  It is a process to begin peeling their story away and to uncover what is really important to me, and what makes my heart and soul thrive.  I am working hard to effect this separation of my truth from the story I built based on other’s perceptions and words with forgiveness; acknowledging that for the most part, that misguided feedback was given in love and that I wasn’t ready, for whatever reason, to say “not for me”.

Joyfully, this uncovering process is revealing new possibilities to explore and consider.  These possibilities always existed, I just couldn’t see them because they didn’t fit within my story.  I am encouraged to keep digging into my story, understand it and let go – because something exciting and new is always revealed.

And what about my second question?  Is it possible to live “naked” to the world and myself?  Can I move forward without crafting yet another story to explain my choices and decisions – to help other people feel more comfortable about where and how I fit in their stories?  It is too early to know for sure, but I am working on building the mental and emotional muscles to try.  Living with a story I create just feels too limiting at the moment.  I want to be open to all the possibilities – even the most outrageous ones that I could never imagine.  I believe that there is an amazing last big gig waiting for me – and if I trust and keep my eyes, ears and heart open, and continue to explore, it will find me.

What about you?  Are you willing to let go of your story and find new possibilities?

Marigold signatureMary Wallace Jaensch

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field